Finding an Adult Resort

These are the things you should look for;

Website – Normally your first contact with a potential provider is its website, does it give you a complete synopsis of the resort and the services rendered? Do they cover up lack of information with many photos and no substance? Are the FAQ’s informative and cover most basic questions?

Management – How long have they been in business and what is the experience of management? Always send a question to packager and see how long it takes them to get back to you; this is a good indicator of their overall service.

Location – Is the resort location in a democratic, stable and friendly country, Cuba and Venezuela are not. How long it will take you to get to actual resort after you land at the primary destination (some resorts require a night in hotel before reaching resort by a second flight or land carrier due to its distance from the airport? Costa Rica requires this. Thailand has a very unstable government with an erratic leader and difficult to get to. prostitution legal in the country? The Dominican allows prostitution and has a very stable democratic government.

Package – Be sure you know what the package includes. Are there any extra charges? What do you want it to include? Do you get a variety of package and accommodations?

All-Inclusive vs. Flexibility – Do you want the flexibility of your own apartment, hotel or all inclusive beachfront villa?

Food – Are you happy eating at the same location from a set menu or buffet with the same people or would you prefer eating you meals in different restaurants with an unlimited variety of foods, chefs, locations within walking distance?

Girls – If full-time girls (companions, escorts, tour guides) are the provided and shown on the website are they real or are they “representative”? Are they available when you will be there? Do they just show groups of girls or website visitors get to see individual girls that are currently there?

Choosing Girls – Does the website explain completely how you choose your companions? Do you need to compete with other guests for the companion of your choice? Would you rather choose your companions from over 25 girls in advance with the flexibility of trading out every day with no “bidding” or competition? Do you want to see the girl you will be with that night waking up that same morning with another guest? Do you want to see her during the next day with the guest she is going to be with the next night? If you want a girl you really enjoyed leave you because she is reserved by someone else?

Change Out – Is there any charge to change girls, do you have to pay for transport of new girls, how long does it take to get new girl? Costa Rica is infamous for this tactic since all resorts are at 3 – 6 hours away.

Accommodations – What are your accommodations and your specific room/apartment? Keep in mind that although you spend a good portion of the day outdoors, you do spend a considerable amount of time and more intimate moments in your room/apartment.

Air Travel – Check travel schedules carefully. Do you really want to arrive in the late evening when you have been traveling all day? This is a night wasted.

Things to Do – Discos, gambling, tours, water sports, are they available and how far are they from your accommodations.

Price – All adult service providers whether they be in-inclusive villas, apartments with full-time escort(s) or “call girls” at your resort supply the same basic service. Compare prices carefully, do you want to pay top dollar for basically the same thing?

Deposit – Do you want to send a 25% deposit ($1000 – $2000) to an unknown resort or send $250 deposit? Best Dominican Adult Vacation deposit is $250.

Help – Do you have a full-time concierge and local phone to reach him 24 hours a day in case of an emergency or just an important question?

Villa / Apartment / Call Girl? – Can your chosen provider give you a complete menu of superb and economical services with equal terrific customer service and facilities?

Forums – Although some forums give you a fair review be very skeptical as many owners create their own forum letters. Most guests that go to these type resorts do not write to forums and keep their visits very private.

Questions – Make sure when you send questions or requests the answer is addressed directly and not “glossed over” which stock platitudes or vague responses.

How to Convince Your Wife to Bring Home a Girlfriend

OK, Stud….here it is. The odds are REALLY stacked against you, but remember, not ALL women are created equal! There is a better chance of you winning Playboy’s “Most Interesting Man” contest before you wife will bring home a playmate for you. That being said, IT HAPPENS TO SOMEBODY!!! Here are some simple steps to sway the odds to your favor.

First of all, over 63% of ALL women have “thought” about kissing (or more) another woman. That doesn’t mean they’ve thought about it a ton…but it has crossed their minds. 17% of women surveyed have stated that they have tried it or have thought about it more than twice. A full 8% said that given the right circumstances, they would entertain a three-some with their partner as long as the rules were clear.

So, the odds are 92% that you are going to strike out, chump. Don’t despair! After you read and execute the following steps, you can cut those odds in half, and at the very least, your fantasy time with your wife will increase TREMENDOUSLY! The key is to take a step by step approach to loosening up the Mrs. and getting her used to the idea of some “advanced” sex. It is IMPERATIVE that you take these steps in the proper order. Going out of order will set you back months and probably dump you back (maybe permanently) in the 92% of guys who have to keep those fantasies to themselves.

1. Dirty talk more often. This is harmless, playful, and can actually get the 63% bisexual “thinkers” to consider the later steps. If you can’t go further than this because you married sweet polly purebred, that’s OK. You will undoubtedly have the best pillow talk imaginable because it will remain a fantasy. This is where 70% of men end up anyway, so don’t despair. Then again, DON’T give up either! Depending on your desire, you may consider the following steps to at least get her to try some 3-D fantasies!

2. Watch pornographic movies together. Most of the porno on DVD contains some form of advanced sex. Even the edgy stuff can be considered harmless by many women (after all, its not THEM in the video-right?). After you get her used to watching a movie every so often, check out the lesbian stuff. Have a bottle of wine and be sure to laugh a ton. That will break down the barriers a bit more.

3. Go to a gentleman’s club together. The best way to broach this subject is to let her know that you’ve been to a few and you miss her! (That last convention was fun, but after you got home, you were a bit frustrated when you got back to your room) Get her to talk with one or two of the girls. Make sure it is a clean and classy place. Let the dancers know she is a newbie and any professional will help you out by making her feel welcome.

4. If you can get her to a club once, you can do it twice. Next visit, with the right application of alcohol and a week or two of celibacy, you should get her a lap dance. If you can see the same dancer as before, they may strike up a friendship….KaCHING!!!

5. After you have sufficiently warmed up the Mrs. to this classy, harmless, and exciting behavior, you stand a chance of taking it to the next level. Have a playful but serious conversation about experimentation, erotic topics and what it might be like for the 2 or 3 of you. Women respond to emotion. USE That emotion to your advantage. Some women will want a relationship; others won’t. YOU won’t know which way that will go until you start. For more in depth analysis and stories, get the book “Open” by Jenny Block.

6. IF you’ve got her to try now the 2nd most difficult part begins…WHO? You can try a professional or amateur…it’s up to the two of you. The more you talk about the rules, guidelines and expectations the better. Hiring an escort is a sure thing. Opening up a erotic dancer is the next best thing. Considering someone you know is a whole other ball game.

The Sensual Pleasure of an Erotic Massage

An erotic massage can be one of the best experiences for a couple. It can take your partner to the heights of ecstasy. Follow the tips below for an experience of a lifetime.

o Start off by going for the right setting. You can go for satin sheets, scented candles and some water based lubricants. You can also go for scented massage oils, just avoid these on her genitalia. You don’t want her to break out in rashes afterwards! Make sure your nails are clipped and your hands are well oiled before you start off with the massage.

o Set the mood for some romance by looking into her eyes and going for synchronized breathing. Caress her face and fingers and then lie her face down on the table. Go for a relaxed massage on her upper and lower body. Your strokes should be firm but gentle. Concentrate on her neck, waist and thighs. You could also try the backs of her knees. You should not lean over the table. Go for gliding strokes and make sure that you hands are in constant touch with her body.

o You can get her sexually stimulated by either the clitoris or the g spot. When in doubt, just do both and ask her which she prefers. You can do both together when she is very aroused.

o You can try massaging her clitoris in circles or side by side. If you get a clear message as to which is better, just stick to it. Usually, a woman will enjoy g spot stimulation only when she is extremely aroused. Till that time, use lubricated fingers to excite her clitoris.

o If you are not having sex after this, try cocooning her in something warm. It can be a very peaceful experience!

Erotic massages can expose both you and your partner to sensual pleasures you’ve never dreamed of before this!

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The Vicious Cycle of Adult ADD, Shame, and Sexual Compulsion

Brian is an investment banker in his early forties who, in graduate business school, first began to visit prostitutes, spend money on phone sex, compulsively masturbate and, finally spend as much as 5-10 hours a day looking at internet porn. When sexually acting out, he would feel that someone had turned on his brain for the first time. On the net, he would suddenly feel alive. He had energy and felt the euphoria that sexual immersion seductively provides. His mind slowed down; he didn’t need to keep moving.

Since his teens, he had masturbated nearly every night before going to sleep and sometimes once or twice during the day as well. He was shy in school and dated infrequently, partly from his feelings of inadequacy from the persistent inability to concentrate, multiple failures, disapproval from parents, teachers and peers and the consequent demoralization that contributed to low self-esteem.

Undergraduate school had been difficult for him. Complex mathematical formulations from his economics courses were tape-recorded while he fantasized about looking under the girl’s shirt who sat next to him. He was chronically late at classes, his dorm was messy and his clothes were disheveled. He seemed to live in another world. Once on the job, he loved the thrill, excitement and risk of being a trader, but when he had to sit in boardrooms to listen to his bosses talk about strategy, his “eyes glazed over” with boredom and he entered into an “erotic haze”. He would fantasize about the escort he had been with the night before and anticipated getting home after a long day to get on the chat rooms and look at pornography on the internet.

His days were the usual business of forgetting assignments and people’s names, of losing things and being chastised by bosses, as he had been by parents, for not being able to sit still or follow directions. At home, he felt empty, depressed and lonely. He was unable to focus on a book or a movie. He often felt different than others. It was as though others were given a chip at birth that allowed them to remember simple things, to process information accurately, to complete tasks in an orderly fashion, to moderate their impulses and calm their bodies and mind when they wanted to. But Brian knew he was “different” from them. His girlfriend complained that he interrupted their conversations and that he always put his needs first from; He could never finish a task that wasn’t engrossing for him. He would lose his temper over trivial things and he didn’t know why. On the internet, however, looking at a montage of erotic images, he finally felt not scattered. Moreover, he felt soothed, whole and unafraid. Like a magic elixir, he would immediately feel “not different”. He felt alert, focused and alive. However, he soon found himself in job performance because of the long nights and weekends of compulsive sexing. He went to a 12-step “S” program and learned to stay away from compulsive sex. He married and got a promotion at work. Time passed as he worked his 12-step program and settled in to marriage. However, the impulse to call an escort or make an erotic phone call never went away.

One day, after two years of abstinence, he ran across an escort in a hotel who offered him her services and he could not think of a reason to refrain. Also, he had realized that his fantasies had taken on a distinct sadomasochist flavor and he had been curious about acting them out with this woman. He had been involved in a deal at work that went wrong and he felt “less than” and somewhat ashamed. Memories of shaming and humiliating remarks about his conduct and learning skills from teachers and parents came flooding back, precipitating his masochistic sexual fantasies. His sense of self was completely destabilized. So he did what had always worked for him when he felt psychologically fragmented: he went to an escort to shore up his fragile self esteem. Once again he would miraculously feel like he could live with himself. The non-stop put downs that had taken up permanent residence in his head were quieted, at least for a short period of time. Sex took the edge off like a few martinis do for an alcoholic.

The “quick fix” however, was followed by a crash which made him feel worse than he did before he went to the escort. Knowing he had once again lost control of himself, he would feel extremely remorseful and depressed. His feelings about himself bordered on self-loathing. After the crash, he no longer felt alert, focused, or euphoric. While Brian had been able to walk away from cocaine three years ago, the sex addiction had remained entrenched in his psyche: like an athlete’s foot of the mind — it called him — incessantly– an itch to be scratched but never soothed.

It was at this point that Brian decided that if he didn’t leave the house, he would not frequent escorts, and so he re-discovered the Internet. In no time at all, Vincent was spending untold minutes, hours, days totally absorbed in the internet, using chat rooms to set up erotic encounters, and exploring the fetishistic and S&M images and enticements of the cybersex world. Porn surfing became his medium of acting out because the images were flashy, intense, and risky and he could easily go to another web page when the novelty wore off and he would start to be bored.

What happened with Brian’s recovery? He seemed to have managed to avoid compulsive sex for a period of time and to make some positive changes in his life. But when faced with the opportunity, he was easily led to return to sex addiction.

In Brian’s case, he was not able to get a handle on his sex addiction because he had not been diagnosed and treated for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. A particular constellation of imbalanced neurotransmitters were creating physical and emotional problems for him, including an inability to regulate attention, control impulses, sleeping, and mood and energy levels. His need to self-medicate his impulsivity, restlessness and mental hyperactivity gave way to using sexually compulsive behaviors to try to fix his brain chemistry. Poor impulse control combined with a drive for high-risk, intense, novel experiences contributed to Brian’s addiction to sex.

Many sexual compulsives with ADD have had experiences like Brian’s. They struggled in school because they got bored or had a hard time paying attention. Once bored, they would stare out the window, often caught up by sexual fantasies. As adults, relationships are difficult for them. Impulses carry them from project to project, relationship to relationship, job to job. Their minds come screeching to a halt as they try to remember a friend’s name or the location of the escort they visited last night. Most feel the self-loathing of people who are working under capacity, and experience the pain and grief of living a life of lost opportunities and diminished personal potential.

Deregulation and Deprivation

Deregulation and impulsiveness are the hallmarks of ADD, as well as the hallmark of sex addiction. Unable to set boundaries on their own behavior, ADDers feel an intense need to continue forever whether it is on a work project or an involvement in a sexual enactment. One definition of compulsion may very well be “a loss of control characterized by an intense desire to continue despite adverse consequences.”

A sense of deprivation then emerges when compulsive sexualizing does not provide the gratification and satisfaction that results from having the experience of natural pleasure as it relates to intimacy with another human being. Rather than sex being a way to bring two people closer, sexual enactments for the ADDer can stem from intra-psychic conflict, from a narcissistic need for validation not received in his child’s ADD world, and as a way to medicate the physiological symptoms of brain chemistry deregulation. The result is that sex takes up a disproportionately large place in his psychic equilibrium. His very sense of self depends on his sexuality.

Deprivation is not a feeling that is comfortable for the ADD/sex addict. He is a bottomless pit of needs, always looking ahead and never feeling satisfied. The simpler pleasures of life are too mild. Risky, novel, intense and mysterious experiences such as those provided by Internet porn match his voracious appetite. Sex with a spouse seems banal. Marriages are ruined. Unfortunately, trying to feed the monster of endless needs makes the need grow larger and more insistent so the ADD/sex addict sets a vicious cycle in motion. Despite endless hours looking at cybersex, no amount is ever enough. Sex addicts/cybersex addicts are rarely sated and live daily with a sense of unsatisfied longing.

Mood and Emotion

There are problems with mood and emotion regulation and stabilization in ADD and sex addicts. ADD/sex addicts often say they live on emotional roller coasters – the need for risk and intensity in life and in sexuality is ever-present. For the ADDer, feeling states fluctuate with extreme alterations in the highs and lows over hour or even minutes. Maintaining emotions on an even keel is an intricate process involving fine adjustments by different parts of the brain and nervous system. Since setbacks throw ADDers off balance easily, they may try to adjust their instability with a sex/internet binge to balance mood and brain chemistry. The release of endorphins and dopamine from sex temporarily settles the physical, emotional and biochemical roller-coaster that many ADDers experience on a daily basis.

Distractibility

The ADD mind drifts hither and yon. It daydreams, wanders and drifts among loosely and tenuously connected thoughts, often moving to sexual fantasies that quell its restless energy. This is the famous “distractibility” of ADD. An ADDer might engage in sexual fantasies when he should be working. The radio in the ADD brain seems to have a malfunctioning scan button that won’t let him switch channels efficiently. The sex addict’s solution is to stay tuned to one channel only and it is usually sexual fantasy to which the channel is set. Once he’s in his compulsive, rigid focus, it’s hard for him to turn off the scan button to redirect. Hence, distractibility is not the only problem; ADDers can also have problems with hyper focusing, or over focusing. Once the person’s attention is captured, he can stay engaged with what he’s doing almost endlessly. Some may not be able to pay attention; ADD sexual compulsives usually can’t stop paying attention. Hours and hours go by, chores don’t get done, children and spouse are neglected, books go unread, the glory of the sound of music is muted. This type of erotic hyper attention can also take its toll in exhaustion, fatigue, and sometimes failing health.

The over- persistence of the sexual compulsive can make switching gears out of the “erotic haze” very difficult. Although this type of self-absorption makes productive/creative work and interpersonal relationships impossible, refocusing is painful. Going from one task that involves excitement, risk, mystery, intensity, soothing and escape is excruciating when taking out the garbage or paying the bills is called for.

Another factor that contributes to sexual addiction for ADDers is that many people with ADD have defective sensory filters that make them experience the world as a barrage to the senses — noises, sights and smells rush in without barriers or protection. When you live with ADD, you may be constantly bombarded with input that others may not even notice. This assault on the senses often creates feelings of intense anxiety and irritation that can trigger sexual acting out. The comfort of the “erotic haze” on the internet or the soothing experience with an escort can ameliorate these incessant barrages of sensory stimuli to the ADD brain.

Impaired Social Skills

Some ADDers have experienced the negative impact of ADD on social adjustment. Many are shy and were not particularly popular in school, especially if learning disabilities have been in the picture. Social ostracizetion has been part of the childhood of many ADDers. As adults, many ADDers have to work very hard to interact effectively in social and work situations. The development of social skills is more an art than a science because we must learn to read the ever-changing reactions of others. If deficient selective attention interferes with paying attention to social cues in order to listen and respond emphatically, the ADDer may feel extremely ill at ease. How much easier to go to a chat room to enter into an eroticized communication where sexuality can be used as a surrogate for real social interactions.

Shame

Many ADD children grew up in families in which put-downs, disapproval, personal attacks and threats of abandonment were commonplace events. Punishment and frustration from teachers and taunts from peer groups added to a sense of worthlessness. As an adult, the ADD child judges himself mercilessly and often tries to be perfect in a desperate attempt to shield his shame. He feels deeply ashamed of being “different” due to ADD as well as of being a sexual compulsive – a “deviant”, if he becomes one. Chronic, relentless shame is devastating. Mired in feelings of worthlessness, defectiveness and despair, he is full of doubt about his very validity.

Shame and sex addiction are natural partners. The more intense the pain of self-hatred, the stronger the drive to find a sexual behavior that offers relief from internal pain and emptiness. For the sex addict, the answer to his inner problems lay outside himself in the “magic” of sexual desire, for or from, another. He confuses sexual desirability with self-acceptance. He is trying to fill the void that has been at least partially created by shame. He simply cannot bear feeling empty inside.

ADD temper problems or problems with rage may also stem from this chronic shame. A rageful person is desperate to keep others far enough away so they won’t see his sense of defectiveness. A shamed person can only think to defend himself from real or imagined attacks by cruelly attacking the other person. And rage works. It drives people away and so protects the person from revealing his shame. But this device of using rage to keep people away is very damaging to a person’s self-esteem. Rage breaks the connection between people and so increases the shamed person’s shame. A rage/shame spiral can result. Social isolation lends itself to engrossment in sexual fantasy as a way to ameliorate loneliness.

The person who is shame-based sees himself as deeply and permanently flawed. He “knows” he is not like other persons. He “knows” he is different. He “knows” he is so bad he is beyond repair. He “knows” he will never be able to join others in a world of productivity, balance, self-respect and pride.

Shame and Perverse Sexuality

An early-life sense of shame for being “different” and fear of abandonment can influence the sexual development of an ADD child. Parents who may have been unstable themselves and who had no knowledge of the special needs of an ADD child, may create a shame-based home environment. The messages that the ADD child who has chronic behavior problems, hyperactivity, aggressiveness and learning disabilities receives at home may include:

  1. You are not good;
  2. You are not good enough;
  3. You don’t belong;
  4. You are deficient and disappoint us.
  5. You are not worthy of love.

Shame and sexuality become closely connected. Children shamed early in life may become sexually compulsive or develop perverse fantasies as a way to feel better about themselves. Fetishism may occur. Sadomasochistic fantasies and enactments may become paramount. Exhibitionism may be developed and acted on.

Exhibitionism can easily be a chosen perversion for the person who is shame-based. The person who is shamed, instead of hiding, calls attention to himself. He may expose himself in public, in an automobile or by standing in a window. The ADD child may have suffered from a lack of recognition of his real and valid feelings, wants and needs by parents and teaches who expected him to be other than the way he was. The exhibitionist seeks to redress this lack of recognition. He also uses his perversion as a strategy for dealing with shame by displaying what he really wants to hide – himself.

Sadomasochistic fantasies and enactments are common among shame-based people who have difficulty imagining that relationships can include mutual respect, dignity and pride. People who have grown up with shame, like many ADD people, often believe that fulfilling, exciting relationships must be shame-based. Men pay hundreds of dollars to see dominatrixes who physically humiliate them and repeatedly tell them something is wrong with them. The submissive man, fearing abandonment, tries to please the “mistress” by becoming whoever she wants him to be, no matter how humiliating or de-humanizing her demands may be. The reasoning is such: “If anyone saw the real me, they would be revolted. I must please the mistress by being a person she would be proud of.” Pleasing the dominant parental figure is a way on undoing the pain of having a parent that couldn’t be pleased. The S&M enactment thus turns trauma into triumph because the masochistic man succeeds in pleasing his dominant partner.

How To Meet Exotic and Exciting Women Online

Sugar Daddy Dating attracts exotic women with its inherent sex appeal and promise of excitement.Top quality sites in this new genre of sites allow older men around the world to find voluptuous, beautiful women to court and love. In exchange for a luxurious lifestyle to match their languorous bedroom eyes, these exotic beauties provide companionship and a taste of the wild.

Exotic girls know their worth and understand that they will stick out in a crowd. They won’t be found on traditional sites because they know that the regular men on Match.com and eHarmony.com are not worth even their time. Besides, exotic women don’t want to be worshipped like some kind of fantastical creature; they want to be treated properly, like the fine ladies they are. Men on traditional dating sites typically don’t have the kind of confidence to escort an exotic woman like the classy men on Sugar Daddy dating sites. So, wealthy men and exotic women become a natural pairing.

Exotic women always look for wealthy benefactors to support them and their stylish lifestyles. A Sugar Daddy provides the monetary backing for fine clothes and make up for these exotic women to maintain their refreshing appearances. Additionally, many exotic women are apt to subscribe to exotic lifestyles, as well. Sugar Daddies can afford entrance to the best parties and the high-shelf alcohol. These girls know, too, that Sugar Daddies are inclined to have an acquired a taste for exotic and erotic. Girls like these will go to swingers clubs and sex parties. These exclusive preferences are difficult to solicit on traditional dating sites which are generally used by prudish, close-minded people rather than the worldly elite.

Also, foreign women know to go to Sugar Daddy dating sites to find their tickets to distant locales. Girls from the tropics have a hankering to see the world the same way that people around the globe wish to visit their lush native homes. These girls understand that a man with money can whisk them away with a plane ticket to a cosmopolitan metropolis for a temporary or permanent stay. Exotic women would be hard-pressed to find a man so willing to indulge their travels on a traditional dating site, so they join Sugar Daddy dating sites, excited to start a new life of travel and sightseeing and five-star hotels.